God Loves Milo Ventimiglia More Than He Loves You

From AskMen.com:

Hayden Panettiere performed a surprise striptease on her boyfriend Milo Ventimiglia's birthday.

The 'Heroes' actress - who plays self-healing cheerleader Claire Bennett in the hit TV show - donned a special raunchy cheerleader outfit and treated her co-star, who turned 31, by gyrating in front of him, before whipping off the costume to reveal sexy red lingerie.

A source said: "Hayden gave Milo an unforgettable birthday surprise by morphing from her bouncy cheerleader character in 'Heroes' to a bump-and-grind striptease.

"She asked the wardrobe girls to make her a Velcro lined version of the outfit she wears on the show. As she sang 'Happy Birthday' to Milo in front of cast and crew during lunch she ripped off the costume to show off her sexy red lingerie. Milo's face went bright red."

Hayden finished her routine by kissing and hugging Milo as onlookers gave her a standing ovation.

Annnnnddddddd suddenly all the encouragement to study hard and do well in school doesn't seem better than being an actor.

I Fly Like Paper, Get High Like Planes

I am bludgeoning the song in this trailer to death. I think Pineapple Express is going to be the best comedy of the summer, and it has a great trailer to boot. Plus the song - Paper Planes by MIA - is on Ruckus.

This Is Why I Drafted Chris Cooley

I participated in an Auction-style fantasy football draft last night and purposefully held out to bid on Chris Cooley. Why? The dude's a cool guy.



On getting a Fred Davis rookie football card:

"I'm going to have him sign it and put it on eBay."

Way To Go, Fuckhead

Police: Student facing charges after drunken night in Latsch Football Building.

Let me first say that the following is not based on the fact that I choose not to partake in alcoholic drinking - it's more that people in the "real world" hear that I'm from Penn State and suddenly assume they're talking to Bluto Blutarsky.A few weeks ago, I was talking to a co-worker about possibly getting hours at a store location in State College, so I could continue to work during the school year. I said it would be nice to have a short shift every week. His response was, "Yeah man, beer money. I know how you Penn Staters love your beer." The only thing I could think to say was a deadpan "yeah, we do."

I could be wrong here, but as someone who has never had to worry about choking on his vomit, that sucks.

Penn State is not a school exclusively devoded to pissing oneself/destroying property/catching pubic crabs every Thursday-Saturday night. Yes, a good deal of the undergrads have a story that they may not be proud of, but Jesus, PSU is technically a Public Ivy. Unfortunately this is lost on most people, thanks to stories like this.

"While inside, Costenbader allegedly damaged a window in the training office by throwing weights at it, flipped two tables and two trampolines in the training room and broke a window in the south lobby."

Can you even blame that on being drunk? That just sounds like this guy is an asshole.

So thanks, shit-for-brains. Despite the fact I am getting a fairly respectable degree, it will be depreciated by the fact that most people assume that all 40,000 of us have had an episode worthy of Gary Busey.

The Last of the WJBR Photoshops?!

I know I haven't been posting regularly (or anything interesting for that matter), but hey, let's keep the crapfest going with more mediocre photoshops - because if I don't post them here, they vanish into the internet vacuum.I only have a few weeks left in my internship, so soon these posts may be a thing of the past.

Is This Awesome, Or Is It Just Me?

I was checking for easy Tabs (because I don't play guitar nearly enough anymore) on UltimateGuitar.com, and was surprised to find this. It turns out it's simple as hell and could be one of those "hey hey guys look what I can play! Waka Waka Waka!" songs. Maybe everyone else has been aware of this for years, but I had no idea this audio is out there, let alone on Seeqpod. Enjoy.

Marshawn Lynch Makes Shaun Phillips Look Like Stephen Hawking

I recently devoted a post to ripping Shaun Phillips' grammar, spelling, and overall understanding of everything because I found his blog on Yardbarker and couldn't help but comment. I guess I should have looked harder on the site, because Marshawn Lynch makes the San Diego Linebacker look like a genius.

Thanks to the handy sidebar on the sports blog community's website, I happened to see that the quite talented, yet somewhat troubled, Buffalo running back had recently updated his account. To give you the best recreation of my reaction, i'll sample from some of Marshawn's best entries:

"well its bout dat time... time to put on da hard hat and put n sum dirty work... off season was koo i had a kids camp on july 12 in Oakland had a solid turn out bout 600 kids... Lamar Woodly LB from pitt and his cuzin Sam came out to help... had prizes 4 all da kids and sum good life learned lessons dat we talk to da kids bout... just runnin n da yard sayin whats up.....hold ya chin up.....nuh nuh nuh ....gone"

"whats good yardbarkers what it do its ya local neighborhood running back outta OAKLAND....in buffalo playin for da bills...if u looked at da headline reading DAMN its cause ive been out 4 da past two weeks and its been hurting me not to b out der wit ma teammates even if we losing....i just cant wait til i can get back out der wit ma bra bras (teammates).....but dis just ma lil intro until i can get back to yall wit a lil mo....stay solid til next time"

Suddenly, the idea of Lynch being stupid enough to not be aware when he hits "a dancing woman in the street" with his car is completely believable. Let's just hope his "bra bras" are "der" for him when Commissioner Goddell hands down his sentence.

Nuh nuh nuh...gone.