Saturday, April 26, 2008

Gratuitous Self-Promotion!

I thought about blogging during the draft - not that anyone really cares - but I wanted to see what kind of content I'd churn out. Instead, I decided to participate in Kissing Suzy Kolber's (best sports blog ever) live blog - a Dick Joke-A-Palooza. Though I was not owner of the funniest comments of the day, here are some highlights of my contribution:

After Mortensen compared the DE from Ohio State to Tarzan:
3:44
[Comment From Broseph Stalin]
With the sixth overall pick the Jets take Tarz...Vernon Gholston

When the idea of the Patriots adopting an evil galactic empire theme and it's asked if Randy Moss would be the 'lame robot guy.':
3:47
[Comment From Broseph Stalin]
Sadly, General Grievous has no ass to moon people with.

After the Bengals take Keith Rivers:
4:07
[Comment From Broseph Stalin]
Best fan reaction yet.

After the Arizona Cardinals take Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie:
4:54
[Comment From Broseph Stalin]
Their second round pick will be a kidney.

During the Buccaneer's time on the clock:
5:15
[Comment From Broseph Stalin]
Jon Gruden is trying to figure out how to take both Chad Henne and Brian Brohm here.

During Dallas' time on the clock:
5:35
[Comment From Broseph Stalin]
If Mendenhall gets snatched up right before the Steelers can take him, I will burn down an orphanage.

After the Titans pass up on EVERY wide receiver available:
5:51
[Comment From Broseph Stalin]
Vince Young is now mixing antidepressants with Wild Turkey.

After wide receivers of the 2008 draft class remain completely undrafted:
5:55
[Comment From Broseph Stalin]
This is great for the steelers - with wide receivers falling at this rate, they may take one in the fifth round!

Still contemplating the Titan's decision to take Chris Johnson with their first pick:
6:16
[Comment From Broseph Stalin]
I'd suggest a 'Worst Pick of the draft' poll, but I think the answer is too obvious.

3+ Hours and still no receivers taken:
6:20
[Comment From Broseph Stalin]
The wide receivers of the NCAA are having a fire sale!

After the NY Jets inexplicably trade up to take Dustin Keller:
6:29
[Comment From Broseph Stalin]
More like Pur-DON'T!

After the Chiefs draft Brandon Flowers out of Virginia Tech:
6:49
[Comment From Broseph Stalin]
The Chiefs actually thought they were drafting the lead singer of the Killers.

After both Dustin Keller and John Carlson are taken:
7:00
[Comment From Broseph Stalin]
Fred Davis is now the DeSean Jackson of Tight Ends.

After the Eagles trade down twice, only to take DT Trevor Laws as their first selection:
7:26
[Comment From Broseph Stalin]
The Eagles' brass meets McNabb's request for playmakers with a subtle "fuck you."

I am not responsible for "you had to be there" jokes. I fully realize that to many people, these are all "you had to be there" jokes.

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